Assalamualaikum... Dear AnakMelayu, I got a boyfriend yang sangat cemburu... We've been together for about 2 yrs and I nie actually peramah and I selalu ceritakan masalah saya ini kepada rakan-rakan saya, including guys and gals.... Tetapi lately dia sound pat I yang dia nak break-up pasal dah tak tahan ngan perangai I. I teros blur. Biler I tanyer dia apasal?, dia cakap I suka pentingkan orang lain dari dia, tapi I betul-betul sayang pat dia... Kita berdua pon always bertangkar pasal :-

Regards, Lisa

Dear Lisa, Cemburu tu merupakan satu necessity dalam percintaan, however excessive jealousy will usually cause problems in aby relationship. What you can do is to try and talk things out on a level surface with your partner. Discuss and find out what each person thinks about the concept of KEPERCAYAAN. Kalau takde trust... wahh.. rabak. Kalau boleh, try to discuss mengenai problem nie dengannya secara aman. Jangan pulak korang bertengkar, nanti problem nie biler nak solve? If you have something that you know is bothering you, jelaskan secara hikmah. Jika dia benar-benar sayangkan Lisa, dia akan dapat menerimanya. Jika tidak, kembalilah ke alam nyata kerana masih banyak lagi bende lain yang you have to think about, for example you future, your career, or your studies or even your own family.

Kadang-kadang, life is unfair at times. For one reason or the other we arrive at a point where we see others around us enjoying what we wish we had. Lagi banyak kita fikirkan pasal nie, lagi banyak negetive emotions yang develops within us. If it goes unchecked, it can destroy a person and block them from finding the very thing that they most desire.

Jealousy tu bende aper actually? Nasib baik korang tanya... It's actually a negative attitude or feeling towards orang lain. Ingat tak time kecik-kecik dulu, kalau members pat skolah ader bag baru, abih tu mahal, mesti rasa jealous kan? It surfaces when the focus is on what one does not have (and wants) versus what one possesses. The element of control comes to play with this emotion along with not wanting to share. So.. macam maner nak deal ngan all those emotions?

Lain orang, lain ragamnyer. Tapi satu bende yamg paling samer ialah some people choose to go along and choose not to control perasaan jealous nie. Nie amatlah danger. Kalau salah silap atau terlalu over, orang yang kita sayang pon tak lama akan belah...

So be advised, jealousy is an emotion that can cause really bad things to happen kalau you all tak dapat control. Do not allow it to grow, and certainly do not feed it. Ingat, kalau terasa jealous pasal perangai pasangan, cakap berterus terang, kerana maybe pada dier, it's something natural, but pada you, darah boleh menyirap!